I am fairly experienced when it comes to being spanked, but that obviously wasn't always the case. Everyone who is experienced was once a newbie, and there is nothing wrong with that. Having been both experienced and inexperienced in receiving spankings, I believe that some of my insights may be of some help to people who are brand new to being on the receiving end of spanking. I have a few pieces of advice that I believe will make taking that first step as a new spankee a little easier.
Fear:
So you have been talking with someone who has agreed to give you your very first spanking. What sort of emotions are running through your mind? If I had to guess, I would say you may be feeling relief, excitement, contentment, and maybe arousal. Oh yeah, and gut-wrenching terror! Some people may euphemistically say that they are feeling "anxiety" or "nervousness", but what they really mean to say is "fear".
If you are going to take that first step and agree to be spanked, you will most likely be afraid. That is perfectly OK. In fact, you should be concerned if you aren't afraid. I have been spanked countless times, and I still feel fear before a spanking. Not only is that OK, but for me the fear actually increases the excitement I get from being spanked. The only time your fear is a bad thing is if it prevents you from living out your desire to be spanked. In the end, you have to make a choice to submit to a spanking even though you may be terrified to do so. It's a difficult decision, but it was made easier for me when I came to an important realization. I realized that even if I let my fear stop me from being spanked, my desire to be spanked will never go away. I knew that if I was obsessed with the idea of being spanked now, that I would still be just as obsessed years from now. I decided that I wasn't going to use my fear as a reason to deny myself something I really wanted.
That was the decision I made back then. I still have to keep consciously making that decision over and over because I still feel that same fear before (and during) every spanking. However, the good news is that making this decision gets easier as you become more experienced. The fear doesn't ever really go away, but another emotion eventually builds up inside of you and makes things easier. That emotion is confidence.
Pain:
This should be obvious, but it sometimes isn't to a lot of people. It's a spanking, so it is going to hurt. I know you are expecting it to be painful because you have probably spent countless hours fantasizing about being spanked. Included in those fantasies is the realization that it will be painful. In fact, you have probably thought about that so much that you may have sort of become numb to the idea as a sort of coping mechanism so that the fantasy will still be exciting.
It's one thing to imagine what the pain will be like, but it's something totally different to actually experience the physical sensation of pain. It may even be a different type of pain than what you were expecting. The kind of pain produced by a wooden paddle feels different from the kind of pain produced by a leather strap. The pain may be more or less "intense" than you were expecting, and it may also be more "dull" or "sharp" than you were expecting.
Because it's so hard to really get an idea of what it is like until you try it, you may want to forgo your ultimate fantasy spanking for your first time. You can act out your ultimate spanking fantasies at a different time. Your first spanking should be about learning what to expect. If the person spanking you has experience, take direction from him or her. Just explain that this is your first time and you want to learn what it's like before diving in headfirst. Your first time may be a good opportunity to experiment with different implements and positions. The spanking should probably start off light at first and gradually increase in intensity from there to the extent that you feel comfortable. Your first spanking should be like your first time having sex. It probably won't be everything you ever wanted it to be, but that's OK. You are learning what it's like, and what does and doesn't work for you. There will be time later to indulge in the kind of experiences you really want.
Don't ever lie about your spanking experience or your limits. I understand the temptation to exaggerate because it goes back to the sex analogy.You may assume that because you are a spanking virgin and your partner is very experienced, that they would lose interest in you quickly if they knew how much of a newbie you are, but just be honest. A lot of spankers will work with newbies. Don't ever brag about how much you can take unless you have the experience to back it up, or you may find yourself regretting your boasts. When I was a newbie, one of my fears was that I would reach my limit after the spanking has barely started, and that my weak limits would disappoint the spanker. As it turned out, I was more resilient than I thought I was and I ended up impressing my first spanker, but my concern was still a very valid one. However, in retrospect, I believe that I greatly benefitted from having been honest.
You could theoretically avoid the pain altogether if your spanker is willing to give you a very light spanking, but that would sort of defeat the whole purpose. The spanking would lose its thrill and just become nothing more than an awkward butt massage. I don't really enjoy the pain, but the pain is necessary in order for me to enjoy the spanking. It's a complicated relationship that can only really be understood by experiencing it for yourself.
Humiliation:
I have purposely incorporated some pretty extreme aspects of humiliation in some of my spankings, but even the most tame spanking experiences can be embarrassing. Like pain, I don't enjoy humiliation either, but a spanking would be uninteresting without it. Whether you are simply baring your butt or stripping stark naked for your spanking, there will likely be some degree of embarrassment either way.
Even if you are fully clothed in nun attire for your spanking, there will still likely be some element of humiliation involved. Bending over or laying over a lap in order to meekly submit to a spanking is something that is natural to find embarrassing. Not only are you being put in an undignified position, but the person spanking you is very much aware of the pain you are feeling and there really isn't a good way to pretend otherwise. The sort of vulnerability that goes along with spanking will almost certainly embarrass you.
My advice for coping with the humiliation is to remember that this isn't accidental humiliation. It's not like you accidentally did something embarrassing in public or in front of people who weren't expecting it and weren't sharing an experience with you. Your humiliation is part of a deliberate act and it is an integral part of an exciting experience that you are sharing with the person spanking you. It's a very different type of humiliation. Once again, it's useful to compare this to sex. Being seen naked and in an orgasmic state is something that many people would naturally be horrified of in many contexts, but in the context of having sex that humiliation becomes pleasurable instead of horrifying.
Baring your butt:
For most spankos, this really doesn't need to be explained. However, not everyone wants to be spanked bare. I know of some people who fantasize about being spanked over jeans with a paddle. While bare butt spankings are the norm, not everyone has that same preference. Your choice of clothing is totally fine as long as you and your spanker are in agreement. However, for people who are new to being spanked, I strongly recommend being spanked on your bare butt. My reasoning for this is that you may not really be accustomed to how spanking affects your butt or when enough is enough. Having your butt bared for the spanking allows the person spanking you to watch your butt changing color and see the marks left by the spanking. Different butts can react differently to being spanked. Having it bare acts as a sort of safety measure so that the spanker can better determine when you may be approaching your limit. Even if you think you are doing fine, your butt may not look so good, and your spanker needs to be able to see that.
These are just a few simply suggestions I have for new spankees. If anyone else has anything to add, feel free to leave a comment.
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