A while back, I wrote a post titled "Advice for New Spankees". Well, as it just so happens, I have a lot more to say on the subject, so I thought I would list five key "rules" for new spankees who want to make the most of their experience while staying safe.
1. Learn how to say "no". Yes, I know you play the role of a submissive when it comes to spanking, but that doesn't mean you give up your free will. When it comes to flirting/dates/sex, women are often the ones who have to reject men simply because they get hit on by so many guys constantly, and they can't possibly have sex with every single guy who asks. The same applies to spanking. If you have a lot of people asking to spank you, it will be impossible to accommodate everyone, so you MUST learn how to say no, and not feel guilty for doing so. You don't owe them anything. I made this my top piece of advice because it was the hardest for me to learn.
2. ALWAYS be honest with your spanking partner about your experience. Some spankees pretend to be more experienced than they actually are, or pretend to be able to take much more than they can actually take. They do this because they think it makes them more desirable to spankers. In short, it's how insecure young guys act about sex. For some spankers, they prefer someone with lots of experience, but there are many other spankers who are happy to have a newbie. But regardless, don't ever give your spanking partner false expectations. A spanking lifestyle involves trust, and trust goes both ways.
3. This isn't always possible, but your first spanker should ideally play the part of a teacher. No, I'm not talking about schoolgirl roleplay stuff, although that's fun too. I'm talking about someone who will be patient and help you explore spanking in a way that centers around your needs. I was lucky to have someone like that. This person should obviously be experienced in a wide variety of spanking methods so that he can help you explore various aspects of spanking to help you figure out what you like. To use yet another sex analogy, when I was in college, my favorite guys to have sex with were the nerdy virgins. Besides being more attracted to scrawny guys than muscular hulks, I loved being the person to teach them all about sex. I enjoyed showing them various positions, foreplay techniques, how to handle a clitoris (very carefully), and how to give good oral. You need someone like this for spanking.
4. Don't let any spankers use restraints on you unless you trust them completely. If you use restraints, then you just have to trust that the spanker will let you out when you're done, but what if he doesn't? I made that mistake once and only once. In my case, my spanker was treating it more like a prank and did pretty harmless things (involving whipped cream that was way too cold) to me while I was bound to a spanking bench, but you could also have a spanker who is downright malicious and could really hurt you. If your spanked really wants to incorporate bondage into spanking, maybe try introducing him to the concept of "mental bondage", which is basically when you force yourself to stay in position of your own willpower, often as a means of avoiding consequences for moving around during a spanking.
5. Get involved with other people into spanking in more ways than just the spanking itself. Connect with people on Facebook, like me. Go to spanking parties.
EXTRA CREDIT:
OK, this piece of advice is VERY hard for a lot of people out there to follow, whether you are a newbie or you have been into spanking longer than I've been alive. If you are involved romantically with someone who doesn't know about your spanking interest, talk to them about it. I know it's hard and you are probably terrified by the prospect of it, but if they respond well, then your life may be greatly changed for the better.
